A co-worker pointed me to an article in the New York Times from Sunday on some of the hostility that large families get in society titled And Baby Makes How Many? . Oddly, the NY Times was kind of sympathetic which seemed out of character for them. Big families tend to be looked at as something pretty odd, which is why people have reality shows about them (when we are asked if we watch those shows, I always tell people why would I? If I want to see life in a family full of little kids, I will just go home!) But the numbers bear out that large families are rapidly becoming a distinct and tiny minority in America….
If large families are the stuff of spectacle, it is partly because they have become rarer.
In 1976, census data show, 59 percent of women ages 40 to 44 had three or more children, 20 percent had five or more and 6 percent had seven or more.
By 2006, four decades after the Supreme Court declared a constitutional right to use birth control (and the last year available from census studies), 28 percent of women ages 40 to 44 had three or more children, 4 percent had five or more and just 0.5 percent had seven or more.
“Three is still O.K.,” said Michelle Lehmann, the founder of lotsofkids.com and a mother of eight children who lives outside Chicago. “When you have four, people start raising eyebrows. When you go to five, people are like, ‘No way.’ ”
Beyond 10? “They think you are lying,” said Mrs. Gunnip, who also writes two blogs for so-called mega-families, those with eight or more children.
It is amazing to think that the percentage of families with 7 or more children has decreased in 30 years by more than 90%. I think Ms. Lehmann hits the nail on the head, the society as a whole looks at the size of your family and makes judgment calls based on how big the family is. 2 or 3 is great. Even four is sort of OK, but I know from personal experience that when you get past five people start to really look at your oddly.
One thing I found especially telling was the argument that having a bunch of kids is ecologically irresponsible.
“Every single person has multiple impacts on multiple environmental resources,” said Alan Weisman, the author of “The World Without Us,” which advocates a one-child policy to return the world to early 20th century population levels. “It’s a no-brainer that the more people there are, the more stress there is on an ecosystem that doesn’t get any bigger.”
Parents of large families counter that they have an economy of scale: a light bulb lights a room whether there are 4 people or 14. Their children learn not to take long showers, to share space, to appreciate hand-me-down toys, clothes and books.
“Large families are some of the greenest families,” Mrs. Gunnip said. “They don’t tend to have a lot of money, so they make sure things go as far as they can.”
That is a great point. My kids are not wearing brand new Baby Gap stuff, they wear hand-me-downs. My boys have worn pink jammies to bed when they were little because we were not going to buy brand new stuff. They don’t eat lunchables or drink out of juice boxes. They eat sandwiches they makes themselves and drink water or milk out of a glass. We don’t generate much more, or even as much, garbage as smaller families. Our kids are not consumers by and large. There are tons of houses around us that are much, much larger than ours and they house families with a couple of kids. Even though the reality is that large families are probably not substantially greater consumers of resources and that we are not replacing the population in many Western nations, the mindset that is becoming more and more prevalent is that there is something faintly immoral in having larger families. Dr. Mohler addressed news out of Great Britain last week that sounded ominously like the government there was considering limiting the number of children, as more than two was declared “irresponsible”.
As I have said before, it doesn’t surprise me that many unbelieving families look askance at large families. What is troubling is that so many Christian families have the same attitude. I am encouraged to see that families who desire to have large families and embrace the blessing of children are able to find support from people all over the country via blogs and other electronic media. In an given community or church, you may find a couple of big families but online you can run into thousands, and all of them are going through the same trials and struggles, getting the same inane questions (no there are not all my kids, six of them followed me in from the parking lot) but also are enjoying the incredible blessings that large families bring (a couple that are mentioned in the article that I am unfamiliar with are lotsofkids and largerfamilies).
It is an interesting article, you should check it out.
If large families are the stuff of spectacle, it is partly because they have become rarer.
In 1976, census data show, 59 percent of women ages 40 to 44 had three or more children, 20 percent had five or more and 6 percent had seven or more.
By 2006, four decades after the Supreme Court declared a constitutional right to use birth control (and the last year available from census studies), 28 percent of women ages 40 to 44 had three or more children, 4 percent had five or more and just 0.5 percent had seven or more.
“Three is still O.K.,” said Michelle Lehmann, the founder of lotsofkids.com and a mother of eight children who lives outside Chicago. “When you have four, people start raising eyebrows. When you go to five, people are like, ‘No way.’ ”
Beyond 10? “They think you are lying,” said Mrs. Gunnip, who also writes two blogs for so-called mega-families, those with eight or more children.
It is amazing to think that the percentage of families with 7 or more children has decreased in 30 years by more than 90%. I think Ms. Lehmann hits the nail on the head, the society as a whole looks at the size of your family and makes judgment calls based on how big the family is. 2 or 3 is great. Even four is sort of OK, but I know from personal experience that when you get past five people start to really look at your oddly.
One thing I found especially telling was the argument that having a bunch of kids is ecologically irresponsible.
“Every single person has multiple impacts on multiple environmental resources,” said Alan Weisman, the author of “The World Without Us,” which advocates a one-child policy to return the world to early 20th century population levels. “It’s a no-brainer that the more people there are, the more stress there is on an ecosystem that doesn’t get any bigger.”
Parents of large families counter that they have an economy of scale: a light bulb lights a room whether there are 4 people or 14. Their children learn not to take long showers, to share space, to appreciate hand-me-down toys, clothes and books.
“Large families are some of the greenest families,” Mrs. Gunnip said. “They don’t tend to have a lot of money, so they make sure things go as far as they can.”
That is a great point. My kids are not wearing brand new Baby Gap stuff, they wear hand-me-downs. My boys have worn pink jammies to bed when they were little because we were not going to buy brand new stuff. They don’t eat lunchables or drink out of juice boxes. They eat sandwiches they makes themselves and drink water or milk out of a glass. We don’t generate much more, or even as much, garbage as smaller families. Our kids are not consumers by and large. There are tons of houses around us that are much, much larger than ours and they house families with a couple of kids. Even though the reality is that large families are probably not substantially greater consumers of resources and that we are not replacing the population in many Western nations, the mindset that is becoming more and more prevalent is that there is something faintly immoral in having larger families. Dr. Mohler addressed news out of Great Britain last week that sounded ominously like the government there was considering limiting the number of children, as more than two was declared “irresponsible”.
As I have said before, it doesn’t surprise me that many unbelieving families look askance at large families. What is troubling is that so many Christian families have the same attitude. I am encouraged to see that families who desire to have large families and embrace the blessing of children are able to find support from people all over the country via blogs and other electronic media. In an given community or church, you may find a couple of big families but online you can run into thousands, and all of them are going through the same trials and struggles, getting the same inane questions (no there are not all my kids, six of them followed me in from the parking lot) but also are enjoying the incredible blessings that large families bring (a couple that are mentioned in the article that I am unfamiliar with are lotsofkids and largerfamilies).
It is an interesting article, you should check it out.
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