Mark at Called Out In Kansas has an interesting post on gender, Men Love Your Wives. It is not intended to be a comprehensive statement on the issue but I appreciate that Mark is thinking about the topic, one which is fraught with emotional outbursts and generalizations but not much honest study.
One of my biggest pet peeves lately is the general lack of understanding in the body on what it means to be a man in the Kingdom. I have seen multiple instances lately of men in the church, and often times in “the church”, doing things to further their own ambition or desires, to the detriment of, or at the expense of, their wives. For example, some men place a lot of importance in their hobbies. Whether it be golf, hunting or something else, the tendency is to make this activity a priority, without regard for its effect on the spouse. No expense is spared, either in the way of time off from work or the expense of the actual activity, to allow the man his good time, but when it comes time for his wife to spend money scrapbooking, as an example, it is “just a stupid hobby” or a “waste of money”, and therefore is either restricted, not allowed, or allowed grudgingly. This is just one simple example, but the fact of life is that men in America do not understand what it means to be a true Man of God.
This is what being a man in the Kingdom is about, loving your wife as Christ loved the church. I have been guilty (and still too often am) of putting patriarchy ahead of love. The Bible is clear that men should lead in the church and the home but even more so that they should love. Men who love their wives but refuse to lead and provide for their families don't honor Christ. Men who are happy to rule over their families but not love them don't honor Christ either.
I still don't understand scrapbooking.
5 comments:
I don't think we can be friends if you don't understand scrapbooking.
Oh I understand scrapbooking, You take stuff and stick it in a book with loose leaf pages and then you start all over with a different book. What I don't understand is why you do this.
Arthur,
I would offer that one can't effectively lead until one truly loves, whether you are speaking of husband and wife or believer and elder (not intending a hierarchical relationship).
Mark
Mark,
I would concur but I think being the sort of love that the Bible envisions inherently includes leading the family. In other words, it is impossible to love your wife if you refuse to assume the role of leading the family.
Arthur,
I think ideally the two would occur at the same time, love and leadership. The only reason I make any distinction is that there are situations where the relationship doesn't allow the husband to lead as he is called to, and in that case the answer is not to "rule with an iron fist" (my term, not yours). The answer would be to love first, and allow love, with the working of the Holy Spirit, to change what needs to be changed in the relationship, to allow the kind of trust to develop that will then allow the appropriate leadership to take place. From my experience, when there is a failure of leadership there are often issues on both sides that are keeping that from taking place, even if the husband is fully willing to lead, and until those issues are addressed leadership will not be possible.
Mark
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