Friday, July 31, 2009

An argument against single parent adoption by a proponent of adoption

Voddie Baucham makes a great argument against single parent adoption in a recent blog post. I think adoption is a wonderful thing. I also think that having single people adopt is generally a bad thing for a variety of reasons. Not because single parents are bad people but because intact two parent families with a mother and father are proven to be healthier and frankly are Scriptural. We should not compromise because there are so many kids waiting for adoption by encouraging single parent adoption, we should exhort two parent families to adopt children whether they have their own kids or not, and the church should support that. I would rather see the church help offset adoption costs for couples willing to adopt than I would see yet another church building being built or more staff be added to a local church. A church with $100,000 in its "building fund" could help ten families adopt instead of building a new wing or sanctuary. I would rather have an old, run-down building full of kids who were adopted into Christian families than the finest, state of the art sanctuary. There is an opportunity cost for every penny spent in the church on staff, buildings, programs, denominational bureaucrats and that cost has a real impact on real lives. The more I think about this as I type, the more wound up I get. There are so many kids waiting to be adopted and yet we spend billions every year on staff and buildings. God forgive us for our neglect of the parentless in our pursuit of worldy success and glory.

I especially liked this paragraph:

I realize this argument is politically incorrect. And I am sure there are readers out there seething as they think about the child (or children) who found a home with some sweet, single, godly woman who gave them a wonderful life. However, we cannot make policy based solely on anecdotal ‘success’ stories. The fact that God can use ‘less-than-ideal’ circumstances is an argument for his providence, not an excuse to “put the Lord your God to the test.” (Matthew 4:7 ESV) God intends for children to have mothers and fathers. While he can and has, in his providence, allowed children to reach maturity and come to faith in spite of the absence of one of their parents, it does not negate his model for the family.

I think that is a great statement and contains an important principle. It seems that sometimes we look at anecdotal, “one off” incidents and use that to justify our deviation from Scripture. Pragmatism shouldn’t trump principle, although it often does in our homes, our families and in the church. From education to ministry, we use “reality” to explain away Scripture and that simply is not acceptable. The example does not negate the principle. If Scripture makes a clear declaration, I think it is dangerous to try to use a perceived real life success story to undermine what Scripture says.

Voddie Baucham is rarely politically correct and for that I applaud him. He often will say the things that no one else will say but still need to be said. I am really hoping we can get him to speak at the INCH home school convention in Michigan next year.


Anonymous said...

So what you're saying is that you'd like to contribute to the Randy and April adoption fund? lol...

I have a lot to catch up on, so I didn't take the time to read Voddie's article right now, but I definitely will. I actually have a blog post brewing about some of the "fertility treatment vs. adoption" conversations Randy and I have had the last several days, so it was interesting timing for me to read this post. :o)

Arthur Sido said...

we would love to contribute, if we had more than $60 in our checking account! we actually would like to adopt in the future as our kids get older...I would love to see a post about adoption versus fertility treatment, I have some nagging questions about fertility treatment from a theological standpoint.

Anonymous said...

I grew up without a real family... many children in the foster care system in our own country are not adopted at all, becasue they are a monority or too old for all those couples wanting children,.. adopting from the foster care system is far easier and at times has practically no cost, and yet 27,000 children age out of the system, never having any type pf family offered to them.. If a single woman, who is a believer, whom God has not provided a husband to, and is past the age of childbirth, has a heart to adopt an older child, who has had no one willing (couple or not) to adopt them, an will soon be out in the world with no family to count on, and no place to call home.. james 1 27 says to all belivers to meet the needs of orphans and widows.. no where does he prohibit a single person being a parent, in fact there are multiple examples of single parent adoptions in the bible.. the egyptian princess and moses, Esther and Mordecai (Esther); Jacob’s adoption of Ephraim and Manesseh (Genesis 48); Abram and Eliazar (Genesis 15); and Eli and Samuel (1Samuel 1). all these people were used profoundly in the lives of these young people, and it was part of the plan God had.. I am not saying that it isnt best, or the way God ordained families to be, to be a two paretn family.. i just think the idea that unless a child can be adopted by two parents, they shouldnt be adopted at all, even when a single person, who loves God is willing to step up and fulfill the command God gave in James .. and to commmit to love a child who other wise will have noone to love and protect them.. i dont see how having noone at all should be the only option if a couple does not step up and do it.. single women, like amy carmicheal, corrie ten boom , and many others have cared deeply and lovingling for the orphans and those of special needs.. why it is less than Gods will to care and commit to one, than it is to care for many parentless children, is something i think doesnt make sense.. are two parents the best and most biblically sound option? yes.. but can God use a single person in the life of a child as well, when they havent that option? i believe it is in the character of God to provide love from one parent, as well, if two cannot be found.. and that is the case for thousands of children every year.. regardless of the righteous desire to see beliving couple step up... they dont ,always.. I know..

Jamie said...

Hey many of your children are adopted?

Anonymous said...

Hum. You live in a perfect world? Sure, having a mother and father is the ideal situation, but for kids looking for homes, that's often not an option. For many of these kids, it's either single-parent adoption or years more spent in the system.

Which do you think is realistically the better chioce?