He’s a little bit traditional, I’m a little bit primitive

(OK, so the title is not quite as catchy as the Osmond’s “A little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll” but you get the point.)

I got a question privately the other day that has generated a lot of thought for me. If a woman becomes convinced that the traditional model of church doesn’t jive with Scripture but her husband still desires to be in “membership” with an institutional church, what should the response be? Go along with something that you believe is in error or not submit to your husband? Here is my response:

First, I would say: Be glad your husband wants to be involved in the Body of Christ! There are way too many women sitting in pews by themselves while their husbands sit at home.

Having said that, I have been thinking about this a lot. Where I come down on this is that while I see that the traditional way that we “do church” with professional ministers and liturgies and rituals is without Scriptural warrant, I don’t think it amounts to sin. On the other hand, Scripturally failing to graciously submit to your husband’s headship in the home would qualify as sinful behavior. So in picking the right path here, my recommendation is that you gracefully go along with your husband at this point, prayerfully hoping that he will come to a recognition that “church as we know it” is not “church as Christ intended it”. The weight of tradition and inertia are hard to overcome and it takes time to untangle manmade rituals and traditions from Scripture.

Now if your husband was going to a Catholic church or a mormon church or even a “health, wealth and prosperity gospel” church where the Gospel of Christ was being denied, that would be different. That would qualify as picking your spouse over Christ and that is not OK.

None of this precludes asking questions. There is a difference between questioning your husband’s decisions and asking questions about his decisions. 1 Corinthians 14: 35 specifically calls on wives to ask their husbands questions at home. I would also say that you should open your home to fellow believers of all stripes, have the Body of Christ into your home and through this interaction see that love and fellowship should take precedence over doctrinal distinctions. That is not to minimize the foundational doctrines of the faith nor should you invite false teachers and professors into your home except to witness to them. Spend some devotional time as a family in the book of Acts and in 1 and 2 Corinthians, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus. Really study what it says instead of what we assume it says. There isn’t a perfect gathering of the church on earth but that doesn’t prevent us from seeking a better, more faithful expression of the gathering.