The gift of gender

From the very beginning, gender was pivotal to Creation and the plan of redemption. God created man first. Scripture is clear about this. That doesn’t mean man is better or superior, it means what it means: God made man first. But man was created, by a perfect God, purposefully incomplete. That was God’s intent as was His solution to provide a complementary partner for him. We see the origin of women early on in the second chapter of Genesis.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

In that one verse we see gender explained Biblically. Every conversation about gender needs to be framed by that verse. While some people are gifted with singleness, the normative state is not to be alone. Men are formed intentionally incomplete and God in His infinite mercy and wisdom created woman from man to be a helper and a compliment to men. God did not say that Adam was just lonely and needed someone else to keep him company so he made another person who was just like Adam. God made man a helper fit for him, a helper that was different and complementary. Men and women are made differently for a reason and neither is complete alone. Both are of equal value in the eyes of God even, and perhaps especially, though they are made differently and called differently. This theme runs throughout the Bible and culminates in the Son of God being born of a woman and in the picture of Christ and the church, the Bridegroom and the Bride.

Unfortunately, instead of rejoicing that God in His infinite and holy wisdom created men and women with a purpose and for a purpose, many have decided to rewrite the Script to suit our cultural standards or worse yet to appease that same culture out of fear of ridicule and being called “backwards”.

What is ironic is that so many of the advocates of gender equality or egalitarianism or whatever they call it are also the most anti-hierarchical people around. In spite of the distrust of hierarchy and clericalism, many advocates of egalitarianism seem to be unable to view women as serving equally in the church unless they are filling traditional leadership roles. The idea that if a woman is not recognized as an elder in the church or if she does not teach men or hold the title “pastor”, she is somehow inferior and being oppressed is completely without Scriptural warrant and a gross misunderstanding of the idea of leadership, service and discipleship in the Bible.

Jesus is the King of what many rightly describe as an upside-down Kingdom, where the great are brought low and the lowly are lifted up, where the greatest among us are the least among us and where being a servant is the highest calling. When I read Scripture and look around the church, I don’t see the “great” Christians among us as the leading theologians or the famous pastors that everyone wants to endorse their book. I see the women taking meals to people recovering from surgery or the older men who share their simple wisdom with the younger. I think we all get that but once you make a suggestion that God has fenced certain functions in the church and home based on gender, our theology goes flying out the window.

This is a tragic shame because the message women hear is that the callings of a woman are inferior. That message comes not from the ogres who advocate complementarianism, if comes from egalitarians who are unable to see the value in a woman unless she is functioning in a traditional male role. Taking a page from the handbook of the prevailing culture, womanhood is discounted. How ironic that this comes from those who wish to liberate women from patriarchy!

A woman’s strength is not found in demands to be treated like a man. The strength of women, which is considerable and formidable and found throughout the Bible, is a different kind of strength. While we see the male leaders of the church out preaching the Gospel on the street to crowds, we get a different picture of women. Peter writes that women are powerful influencers in a completely different way. Not an inferior way, a different way and one that is honoring to God.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. (1 Peter 3: 1-2)

An unbelieving husband who has his heart softened to the Gospel by the working of the Holy Spirit and the quiet, submissive conduct of his wife is redeemed the same as someone who comes to faith under the authoritative teaching of a man. What is missed by so many is that this is not a “woman submitting to man” thing. It is a woman submitting to God thing. God created women for a specific purpose, to carry and bear children and to raise those children to honor their parents and above all honor God. That is a glorious and wonderful purpose and we would see a far greater impact on the wellbeing of the church if more women embraced this truth. We have plenty of teachers and pastors and preachers but we certainly need more women committed to fulfilling the calling God has made them for.

Ultimately when it comes to gender roles in the church, there is really only one thing to ask. Doesn’t God get to determine what the full role of anyone is in the Body of Christ? If God calls you to minister in Africa because He chose for you to be born there, that is His calling. If God calls you to minister to children and care for your household because He made you a woman, that is a noble and righteous calling. Certainly the world would not agree but I didn’t think we were supposed to take our cues from the world. The picture of the relationship between men and women is the relationship between Christ and the church. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would suggest that the church should usurp the role of Christ as mediator of the New Covenant, as King of Kings, as the propitiation for sins. Why would we then suggest that the relationship between men and women is subject to reinterpretation at the whim of the prevailing culture?

Women are precious in the sight of Christ and have a wonderful calling and role in the home and in the church. It is simple pride and dare I say sin to say to God that women deserve more. God made men and God made women and I think He gets to determine how His creatures should serve Him. I thank God for a wife who loves me and loves my children, who walks in an attitude of submission to my flawed leadership because she is confident in God, a woman who doesn’t see her role at home or in the church to be inferior because she isn’t the center of attention. You won’t see her at the front of the church but never assume that means she isn’t ministering to others and serving her Lord.