INCH: Workshop Five

Training Boys to be Godly Men
Kenneth Knott

Taught at Littlefield schools for 11 years

Five culturally accepted myths

It is normal for a boy to go through some phase of rebellion. Much of the church has accepted this. We do not have to accept this, rebellion does not have to be a normal thing in your family. Never accept the notion that rebellion is inevitable. Where does the Bible tell us rebellion is normal. Those who say it is normal probably experience it in their home and are justifying it.

It is wrong for a father to be confident in his abilities. The media image of father is a less than favorable way, i.e. Homer Simpson. It is OK to be confident and speak with authority in our homes. Paul tells men to imitate him as he imitates Christ. We should tell our sons that as well, imitate us.

It is wrong to be authoritative. A subconscious fear we are going to repeat the mistakes of our fathers? Not abusive, but authoritative. If you are going to err on the side of being too strict or being to lenient, err on the side of strict! Don’t have debates with your kids on simple things.

Being a husband and father is exhausting, laborious and taxing work. Is it? The more you embrace the idea that being a husband and father is hard, the more it is. Are blessings hard, laborious and taxing? We compare it to work. Going home is where we rest, it is not work. At times it is hard, but that is not a normal state of being. Our home as men is a place of respite.

If you are homeschooling, dad needs to be formally involved in some part of the curriculum. Moms measure kids up to a system that doesn’t work anyway. Don’t let our kids be compared to what the public school tells us where our kids should be. That system at best produces mediocrity. His son didn’t read at 8 and would have been labeled as learning disabled, but less than a year later the kid was a voracious reader. Use the teachable moment rather than formal teaching. Having daily devotions is great but it is not a Biblical commandment, but being a Godly man to your boys is. Teach your boys when you can, teachable moments.

One of the greatest secrets in raising your sons is to capitalize on the strengths of your friends. If you don’t have any like minded friends, that should be a prayer. We are called to communal living so that we can help each other raise our boys. Find other men and help them raise their boys and have them help you raise your boys. Ken uses a curriculum that teaches boys to be men: how to treat a lady, how to shake a man’s hand. Seeing other men who believe like you do helps validate and solidify what you are saying.

I like this idea of communal men teaching kids.