The theology of families

I am reading through a very interesting series of posts at the 9 Marks website by Andrew Nichols titled: A Theological Vision for Families. Like much of what is written by the 9 Marks folks, it is aimed at pastors but the principles are the same and besides the church has abdicated too much leadership to the man who holds the office of pastor for too long. It is not fair and it is not Biblical to turn over the leadership of the local body to one person, and while the pastor is a leader among equals he has but one of the families in the local church.

Mr. Nichols makes some very good points here. As the article points out, God first created man. Then recognizing the utter danger of having men living by themselves and making enormous messes, He creates women. Then tells them to travel the world, work on their retirement plans, have fun! Wait, that is not what He said. He commanded men and women to cleave to one another and be fruitful and multiply. In other words to get married and have children. Mr. Nichols states quite unequivocally that it really isn’t one of many possible options, it is an explicit command…

So make no mistake: For those of us not blessed with the gift of singleness (1 Cor. 7:7), or who in God's mysterious providence are unable to have children, families are not optional. They are commanded.

That about sums it up. May I be so bold as to say that the family is the integral unit in God’s redemptive plan, even more so than the local church? The church as we see it doesn’t show up until pretty late in the Bible (and you could argue that church as we do it in American evangelicalism doesn’t appear in the Bible at all!), but the family unit is right there at the beginning. Children don’t exist so we have someone to evangelize, but still the idea of family is central throughout Scriptures and it should be central in the theology of the church. I would argue that we have a pretty poor view of the family in the church. Not because we are not “family friendly” or that we don’t uphold traditional marriage and oppose abortion, but because we have a view of families that is extra-Biblical. Consider the words of this rebuke…

Why is it so easy for pastors and parents to develop a distorted view of children? There are probably many reasons, but let me suggest one: we have allowed our experience and cultural preferences to shape our view of children and then looked to the Scriptures to reinforce what we've already decided.

Ouch! But it stings because it is true! The church is the organization God has ordained to be the primary means of the proclamation of the Gospel, but the church is also a family made up of families. Even the most dedicated Christians spend 5-6 hours at church, but dozens of waking hours with our families. We look at families like the world looks at families, and that is dangerous. Why is Christian education such a back burner issue for many churches and Christian families? Because so many people have bought into the world’s idea that schooling is primarily a job for the state with a goal of making children into productive workers in society. The Bible tells us that raising up children and teaching them is the responsibility of the family, and the goal is to raise them up to know God. Ask yourself this, would you rather your child grow up to be a Wal-Mart greeter who knows Christ or a heart surgeon who is lost? Most Christian parents would say the former, so why then do they raise their children as if the latter is more preferable? It is because they believe what the world tells them about families, and they never hear anything different in church.

May I be even more bold as to say that local churches who do not properly disciple the families in their church, and who do not evangelize in their community, have no business sending checks to overseas missionaries every month. None. The belief that evangelism starts at home is perfectly Biblical.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth." (Acts 1:8)

As a universal body of Christians, we have skipped over the first few and gone straight to “the end of the earth”. We support missionaries in Kenya, but not in our local communities. We send money to Bolivia, but spend little time and money on kids ministries. How many churches have their best teachers teaching kids? Honestly? Are we catechizing our children at home and at church, and is the church a vital partner in that? Because we are fooling ourselves if we think that it is happening in the vast majority of our Christian homes. We aren’t very good at it in my house. Sure our kids have Bible lessons as part of their homeschool, but we are not spending nearly enough time in Scripture memorization and application. That doesn’t mean we should ignore overseas missionaries but honestly in America in 2008 we have more lost people than most other nations on the face of the earth and yet when we think missionary work, we think exotic locales. If we wish to look for fertile ground for evangelism, we need look no further than our street, our workplace, our car windows. Your neighborhood is Jerusalem to you, your state is Judea. It is hard to raise funds for missionaries to Michigan even though there are literally millions of lost people within a few hours drive of where I am right now. There is a hint of racial superiority in all of this. Those people over there who don’t even speak English like God intended, they really need to hear the Gospel! Jim down the street is as lost as they are, but he is a pretty good golfer and he gives to the United Way at work, so it isn’t nearly that important that he hears the Gospel. Besides his mom goes to church, so that should carry over to him.

The family is foundational to the church, and is foundational to God’s plan. We are His image bearers and as such we are commanded to organize into family units and rear children, and to teach those children in the way they should go.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Our children need this training. Our churches need children who have received this training. We need to provide this training in both our homes and in partnership with our churches. Our mandate as parents and in families is laid out in Deuteronomy chapter 6, and growing up to be rich and successful doesn’t appear anywhere.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. "And when the LORD your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you--with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant--and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. It is the LORD your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by his name you shall swear. You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you-- for the LORD your God in your midst is a jealous God--lest the anger of the LORD your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth. (Deuteronomy 6:4-15)