The Voice Of One Crying Out In Suburbia

What a total fluff piece on mormon missionaries.

Now don't get me wrong, I have a special fondness for these young men, most of whom are very dedicated and living a pretty tough life. I spent at least a night, and often 2-3 nights, a week feeding and working with our local missionaries. In fact, we were most active in the church and supporting the missionaries when we decided to leave mormonism.

What is the real purpose of the mormon missionary effort? Who is it really targeted toward? I spent many an hour amongst the mormon missionaries, feeding them and driving them around to go on visits, saving them the mileage. The missionary program is a hugely wasteful venture. An enormous sum of money and pool of energy is used to reach relatively few people, the vast majority of which want nothing to do with them or the Book of Mormon. What is the goal then? I believe the missionary effort has little to do with proselytizing new members and everything to do with solidifying the hold on young men and women when they are at their most vulnerable to outside influence. Where do most new members come from? I am guessing from what I have seen that they are member or media referrals, not randomly contacted folks from door knocking.

Think about it: when mormon kids go on missions they are (for the guys) around 19. Typically they spend the first year out of high school still living at home and working hard to earn money for their mission. They spend the next 2 years in social sensory deprivation where all they hear is the mormon mantra. Almost everyone acted funny around the elders, kind of like people do around nuns. They don’t read books except their scriptures and “faith promoting” works ( a buzz word in the mormon world for books that reinforce the wavering hearts). No TV. No newspaper. Almost no contact with family and friends. All they know is what the church wants them to know. Most Christian kids are facing the world for the first time, often away at college when they are 18-22. Mormon boys are pounding the pavement and the girls are waiting for them to come home so they can get married.

There is camaraderie that comes from knocking on doors day after day for two years, a sense of shared suffering that helps hold adult mormons together. When the door gets slammed in your face enough times, you instinctively either convince yourself what you are doing is right or you go home. We have seen lots of missionaries hit the mission field begrudgingly and turn into the most devout fellows by the end of their mission. Why? Have they really found “the truth”? Or have they convinced themselves that what they are doing is right as a defense mechanism? I think the latter.

From a very young age, boys are taught that they will serve a mission when they get to be of age. They do so to please their parents and the relatives. Conversely, serving without honor, not going at all or perhaps worst, coming home early are marks of shame and for many young men it is easier to go along with the program than to embarrass your family. There is an additional factor. Young mormon women are encouraged to marry returned missionaries. Think that is not am incentive?

Ultimately, the mormon missionary effort is designed to make good mormons out of young men, men who will go home and get married and never question the church. You can’t have them look too closely, or they may not like what they see. So they indoctrinate them to be unquestioningly loyal to the church and never even to entertain questions. The mormon church story is a house of cards, pull one out and the whole thing collapses. The return missionary is designed to never even touch the cards.