Showing posts with label manliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manliness. Show all posts
Friday, October 21, 2011
Real Men Love Orphans
Monday, February 08, 2010
Being a Christian dude
Dr. Mohler posted an interesting article about younger men (early teens/middle-school years) trying to form a masculine identity in what amounts to a vacuum: NewsNote: Masculinity in a Can, Fight Club at Church, and the Crisis of Manhood. With no male role models to speak of, young men are finding their identity in a commercialized pseudo-masculinity, even to the point of preteen boys buying “masculine” smelling body sprays and being encouraged to join "fight clubs" at church. I like what he has to say, especially this:
Of course, Christianity honors the man who fights "the good fight of faith," and the most important fight to which a Christian man is called is the fight to grow up into godly manhood, to be true to wife and provide for his children, to make a real contribution in the home, in the church, and in the society, and to show the glory of God in faithfully living out all that God calls a man to be and to do. This means a fight for truth, for the Gospel, and for the virtues of the Christian life. The New Testament is filled with masculine -- and even martial -- images of Christian faithfulness. We must be unashamed of these, and help a rising generation of men and boys to understand what it means to be a man in Christ. The Christian man does not embrace brutality for the sake of proving his manhood.
It strikes me that contemporary young men are presented with two diametrically opposed visions of being an adult male and neither of them is Biblical.
One is what Dr. Mohler describes, a brusque, violent, brutish image of maleness. In an attempt to fight back against the weak image of feminized men that the popular culture spews at us, young men are encouraged to seek out violence and “machismo”, if you will, to find a male identity. With an almost nihilistic worldview, young men grow up without a hope for or an expectation of mature manhood and thus stay in a state of perpetual adolescence, which combined with a man’s body becomes very dangerous.
The other end of the spectrum is the “pop culture” male. Commercials portray men, especially husbands and dads, as grinning idiots. Mom or even more often the kids are the wise ones, dad is a buffoon. Television shows are full of either homosexual men, simpering, milquetoast men or men who are bad guys. There are very few characters like Jack Bauer (who is not a good role model for Christian young men) around. Most men on TV are not men any sane parent would want their kids to emulate.
Little wonder that young men are confused, growing up in fatherless homes and in female dominated churches. Inundated with images of effeminate men or brutish men, where are they to find their way? I don’t know what to do about the general culture but within the church something needs to change and that change is not going to come from entertainment driven youth group activities that resemble the most banal aspects of our culture. We need to teach and more importantly model what the Bible demonstrates as Biblical masculinity.
What the Bible shows us is incredibly counter-cultural. A man is someone who is humble, meek, loving and yet a leader, strong, a provider for his family. Men who love their brothers and are not afraid to say it and who love their wives and are not embarrassed by it. The church is called to recognize as leaders men not based on who is strongest or the best educated or who makes the most money. In other words, we are not called to follow the example of the world in our leadership. We are instead to recognize as leaders those men who live lives worthy of emulation (Heb 13:7). I am not saying that I fall into that category. Far from it. I do know that young men need a different worldview to grow up with, one where marriage is something to be embraced and not feared, where working to support your family is not a burden, where church is not somewhere you have to go because your wife nags you but instead is the community you find joy in. We need to recover that image of masculinity before we lose another generation of men.
Of course, Christianity honors the man who fights "the good fight of faith," and the most important fight to which a Christian man is called is the fight to grow up into godly manhood, to be true to wife and provide for his children, to make a real contribution in the home, in the church, and in the society, and to show the glory of God in faithfully living out all that God calls a man to be and to do. This means a fight for truth, for the Gospel, and for the virtues of the Christian life. The New Testament is filled with masculine -- and even martial -- images of Christian faithfulness. We must be unashamed of these, and help a rising generation of men and boys to understand what it means to be a man in Christ. The Christian man does not embrace brutality for the sake of proving his manhood.
It strikes me that contemporary young men are presented with two diametrically opposed visions of being an adult male and neither of them is Biblical.
One is what Dr. Mohler describes, a brusque, violent, brutish image of maleness. In an attempt to fight back against the weak image of feminized men that the popular culture spews at us, young men are encouraged to seek out violence and “machismo”, if you will, to find a male identity. With an almost nihilistic worldview, young men grow up without a hope for or an expectation of mature manhood and thus stay in a state of perpetual adolescence, which combined with a man’s body becomes very dangerous.
The other end of the spectrum is the “pop culture” male. Commercials portray men, especially husbands and dads, as grinning idiots. Mom or even more often the kids are the wise ones, dad is a buffoon. Television shows are full of either homosexual men, simpering, milquetoast men or men who are bad guys. There are very few characters like Jack Bauer (who is not a good role model for Christian young men) around. Most men on TV are not men any sane parent would want their kids to emulate.
Little wonder that young men are confused, growing up in fatherless homes and in female dominated churches. Inundated with images of effeminate men or brutish men, where are they to find their way? I don’t know what to do about the general culture but within the church something needs to change and that change is not going to come from entertainment driven youth group activities that resemble the most banal aspects of our culture. We need to teach and more importantly model what the Bible demonstrates as Biblical masculinity.
What the Bible shows us is incredibly counter-cultural. A man is someone who is humble, meek, loving and yet a leader, strong, a provider for his family. Men who love their brothers and are not afraid to say it and who love their wives and are not embarrassed by it. The church is called to recognize as leaders men not based on who is strongest or the best educated or who makes the most money. In other words, we are not called to follow the example of the world in our leadership. We are instead to recognize as leaders those men who live lives worthy of emulation (Heb 13:7). I am not saying that I fall into that category. Far from it. I do know that young men need a different worldview to grow up with, one where marriage is something to be embraced and not feared, where working to support your family is not a burden, where church is not somewhere you have to go because your wife nags you but instead is the community you find joy in. We need to recover that image of masculinity before we lose another generation of men.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
A manly man's church!
Many have lamented the lack of men in the church. Look around in most evangelical churches and you see tons of women, and not many men. The men that are there often look like they were dragged against their will. So what is the church to do? According to USA Today, one church in (of course) Grapevine, Texas 121 Community Church has started to make the church more "manly"
One church, 121 Community Church in Grapevine, Texas, outside Dallas, was even designed with dudes in mind, from the worship center's stone floor, hunter-green and amber decor and rustic-beam ceilings to woodsy scenes on the church website.
No pastels. No flowers. No sweet music. No sit-with-your-hands-folded mood. Women are welcome, but the tone is intentionally "guy church" for a reason, says Ross Sawyers, founder and pastor of 121.
"I have read that if a child comes to Christ, 12% of the time the whole family will follow," Sawyers says.
"If the mom comes, there's a 15% chance the family will. But if the man comes to church, 90% of the time the family will come along behind.
"That's the reality, and that's why we do this."
I get what they are trying to do, I really do. That church building sounds cool, and I dislike flowery stuff in church. But that caters to the natural man in me that seeks what the natural man finds appealing, and a life of submission and sacrifice ain't it. There needs to be more men in the church, more husbands and fathers leading their family in worship and serving in the church. But this is not calling men to a life of service for their Savior, it is yet another way of peddling the Gospel and confusing evangelism with marketing. It is easy to cater to sinners, it is harder to call in the sheep. Only the Word of God is up to that task.
Why do so few churches have a Biblical model of elder rule? Because they have so few men that are eligible. Either they have no elders, which is wrong, or they appoint men who are unqualified just so they can say they have elders, which is also wrong. We need more men! But this is the wrong way to bring in men, because it is not reflective of the Biblical pattern of manliness. For a great blog post on this very topic, check out Grow Up. Be a Man. at Team Pyro.
There are lots of people who see what is wrong in the church, and lots of extreme ways to try to fix it by our own wisdom that often go bad. The house church movement is full of devoted Christians, but I think it is wrong to abandon the "steeple house" as unredeemable. Great men of God ministered to sinners in "steeple houses", men like Charles Spurgeon, Jonathan Edwards, George Whitefield, John Calvin, Martin Luther. They ministered where God's people were and ministered in a way that showed the unbeliever Christ and Him crucified by the preaching of the Word. Others try to make the church more appealing, whether in this sort of misguided effort of making "masculine" churches or in passing out lattes. When the focus is off Christ and becomes an effort to market to sinners, the Gospel suffers. So what is the church to do to call men to Christ? How about calling them the way men were called by Him. On his radio show today (where I first heard about this article in USA Today), Paul Edwards listed the three ways that Christ called men to Himself:
1) By proclaiming bold truths
2) By preaching long, doctrinally deep sermons
3) By risking His life and calling others to do the same
If the church will do as the Savior did, we will see men who love to come to church because they love Christ, not because the find church manly. Then and only then will we have a healthy, Biblical balance in the church where the men serve and lead, and where women don't have to because the men are nowhere to be found.
I love sports. I love to hunt. I am not much of an angler but I know how to fish. I drive a pick-up truck. But those are not what make me a man. Often what makes a man a true Christian man are the things I have done most poorly. But what I need to strive for is not to belch more and eat more red meat, but to honor God by loving my wife and my children as Christ loves the church.
And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:11-16 ESV)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wimpy girlie men
Is it any wonder that men, even many Christian men, find so many churches distasteful?
**CAUTION**
Is it any wonder that men, even many Christian men, find so many churches distasteful?
**CAUTION**
**OVERT CHAUVINISM AHEAD**
**CAUTION**
Certainly a Christian will be blessed by and seek out opportunity to join in fellowship and teaching of the Word. However, merely walking into a building that says: “Church” on it is no guarantee that will happen. This is not a call for church to be more "relevant" but to be more faithful. When you go into many a church, what you are treated to is a feel-good message about a wimpy God who just wants you to love Him. What is not presented is an accurate picture of the mighty God of the Bible or His Son who exemplifies not being a push over, the kid getting sand kicked in his face at the beach by the bully Pharisees, but rather exemplifies what men should aspire to: humility, conviction, strength, sacrifice. Jesus was not a macho braggart but He also was not someone who lacked a spine. He was God and showed and continues to show mercy to those who deserve wrath, and patience until that day when He is revealed to all people for who He is.
I am certainly not the first person to raise this issue, much ink has been spilled and furious typing has taken place on blogs that have already captured the generally effeminate atmosphere of many churches, even evangelical churches. This isn’t reserved for Episcopalian or United Methodist churches where women and even open homosexuals are ordained. Show me a moderately conservative Baptist church without strong male leadership from elders, and I will show you a church where faithful women have taken over most of the de facto rule of the church. That is not an indictment of most women, although there are some that chafe under submitting to male leadership. They are simply filling in the gap where the men should stand. It is the men of the church who stand accused, both for not leading today and for failing to set expectations for leadership to younger generations of men. Having male leadership in the church isn’t fulfilled with a male in the pulpit for a 20 minute sappy sermon.
Young men growing up in the last decade in average evangelical churches were raised in situations where Sunday school, song worship, activities, leadership all were held by women. The men they did hear from were probably were only pastors and the watered down message they preached displayed a simpering god that begged people to like him enough to worship him, instead of the Almighty God, the Creator and Judge who made all things and will set things aright when He sends His Son to gather His sheep and judge the nations. There is not much to admire for young men in the hippie Jesus of postmodern America. The Jesus portrayed in many a pulpit is not someone I would want my boys to emulate, much less worship.
Biblical manhood, real Biblical manhood not beating drums in the woods, is desperately needed in church today. John MacArthur on Grace To You Wednesday morning spoke of the admirable qualities of men from a Biblical perspective, and what you saw lots of was strength, fortitude, courage, character. Notably absent was anything about being sensitive. Being loving and sensitive are certainly traits men should exhibit, but not at the expense or in place of decidedly male traits. What Dr. MacArthur also pointed out is that being masculine in the Biblical sense does not mean false bravado or faux aggressive chest thumping. The men I know who I admire are not those who are the great athletes but the men who care for their family, who have a sense of duty towards their family that reflects their love towards them.
I clearly have failed for the most part in this role as a father, both in demonstrating to my sons how to love their wives as Christ loves the church and also by failing to show by example the type of men my daughters should seek out for their husbands. That is something that I have repented of and am seeking to rectify in my life and in my sacred calling as head of my household. Children are a blessing from the Lord and they deserve to be blessed by their father as well. The greatest blessings a child can receive from their father is to see him loving his wife and to see him worshipping his God.
Certainly a Christian will be blessed by and seek out opportunity to join in fellowship and teaching of the Word. However, merely walking into a building that says: “Church” on it is no guarantee that will happen. This is not a call for church to be more "relevant" but to be more faithful. When you go into many a church, what you are treated to is a feel-good message about a wimpy God who just wants you to love Him. What is not presented is an accurate picture of the mighty God of the Bible or His Son who exemplifies not being a push over, the kid getting sand kicked in his face at the beach by the bully Pharisees, but rather exemplifies what men should aspire to: humility, conviction, strength, sacrifice. Jesus was not a macho braggart but He also was not someone who lacked a spine. He was God and showed and continues to show mercy to those who deserve wrath, and patience until that day when He is revealed to all people for who He is.
I am certainly not the first person to raise this issue, much ink has been spilled and furious typing has taken place on blogs that have already captured the generally effeminate atmosphere of many churches, even evangelical churches. This isn’t reserved for Episcopalian or United Methodist churches where women and even open homosexuals are ordained. Show me a moderately conservative Baptist church without strong male leadership from elders, and I will show you a church where faithful women have taken over most of the de facto rule of the church. That is not an indictment of most women, although there are some that chafe under submitting to male leadership. They are simply filling in the gap where the men should stand. It is the men of the church who stand accused, both for not leading today and for failing to set expectations for leadership to younger generations of men. Having male leadership in the church isn’t fulfilled with a male in the pulpit for a 20 minute sappy sermon.
Young men growing up in the last decade in average evangelical churches were raised in situations where Sunday school, song worship, activities, leadership all were held by women. The men they did hear from were probably were only pastors and the watered down message they preached displayed a simpering god that begged people to like him enough to worship him, instead of the Almighty God, the Creator and Judge who made all things and will set things aright when He sends His Son to gather His sheep and judge the nations. There is not much to admire for young men in the hippie Jesus of postmodern America. The Jesus portrayed in many a pulpit is not someone I would want my boys to emulate, much less worship.
Biblical manhood, real Biblical manhood not beating drums in the woods, is desperately needed in church today. John MacArthur on Grace To You Wednesday morning spoke of the admirable qualities of men from a Biblical perspective, and what you saw lots of was strength, fortitude, courage, character. Notably absent was anything about being sensitive. Being loving and sensitive are certainly traits men should exhibit, but not at the expense or in place of decidedly male traits. What Dr. MacArthur also pointed out is that being masculine in the Biblical sense does not mean false bravado or faux aggressive chest thumping. The men I know who I admire are not those who are the great athletes but the men who care for their family, who have a sense of duty towards their family that reflects their love towards them.
I clearly have failed for the most part in this role as a father, both in demonstrating to my sons how to love their wives as Christ loves the church and also by failing to show by example the type of men my daughters should seek out for their husbands. That is something that I have repented of and am seeking to rectify in my life and in my sacred calling as head of my household. Children are a blessing from the Lord and they deserve to be blessed by their father as well. The greatest blessings a child can receive from their father is to see him loving his wife and to see him worshipping his God.
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