All this leaves single women such as Rachel Downtain facing unwelcome choices. "Going the sperm-bank method is definitely not my first choice, but I am not willing to give up my dream of having a child just because I can't find Mr. Right. I am having to realize that my fairy tale dream may just be inverted a bit . . . I may have the child before finding Mr. Right."
Yikes that is a narcissistic attitude. Notice that this is all about her. What is best for the child is a distant second-place. She desires a child and in America you deserve to get whatever you want, no matter the cost. “I want a baby!” trumps “We want to have a family”. These women, increasingly desperate for children, are reaping the harvest sown by their parents. Buying into the mentality that says that women should strive for economic success first and then worry about family after they are “successful”, more and more women put off family for education and career. That is fine and dandy but biology and reality play key roles here. There are only so many years that a woman is of natural child-bearing age and it gets harder to get pregnant the older you get. I think the reality is that women are probably at their most fertile when they are in college and starting out in the workforce when they have been told they should be focused on having fun and getting a “good start” on life.
Parents need to be realistic when raising their daughters. Having your cake and eating it too sounds great but if place your focus on the importance of career and education to your daughters, you need to warn them that a pursuit of those things will impact their later desire to have a family. This is true for parents who are not Christians but it is infinitely truer for Christian families. My desire for our daughters is first and foremost for them to marry Christian men who understand and embrace being a husband and a father, someone who will lead in the home and will provide for his family. That comes before anything else including education and career. That might mean that instead of taking an annual cruise, they vacation close to home. Disneyland may have to wait, replaced by a trip to the zoo.
Our model as a family doesn’t make sense for everyone. We got married when I was in college and my wife was working. We had a couple of kids while I was still in school but one of our mom’s watched them in one of the homes we grew up in while we were at work or school. As soon as I graduated my wife quit her job and we have lived on my salary alone for almost 15 years. It has been a struggle at times but I also know that my kids are at home with my wife every day. We don’t have to worry about daycare or babysitters. Is that right for everyone? Probably not but I can say that it was right for us and that I don’t long for the material goods we missed out on or the trips we could have taken. Our family comes first and that is far more valuable than career aspirations, nicer cars or better vacations.
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