Thursday, July 03, 2014

Farewell Cup O' The World

With the U.S. loss to Belgium (and any sport or activity that Belgium can beat the U.S. is inherently flawed and risible) America says good-bye to the World Cup as it slips into sports obscurity alongside the WNBA for another four years.

I don't post about sports much anymore because I don't care and I am decidedly less patriotic than before but I will miss the World Cup because it gives me a chance to be jingoistic guilt-free. First because soccer is a dreadfully boring sport to watch. I mean it is actually painful to watch. Second, every four years pompous pontificators come out of the woodwork to tell you how backwards and unsophisticated you are if you don't wholeheartedly embrace soccer. The apparent logic is that Europeans and other non-Americans like it so something must be wrong with Americans because we don't.


I would rather watch a high school football game or a minor league baseball game than the finals of the World Cup. Perhaps that makes me uncouth in your eyes. I really don't care.

Baiting the soccer (or football or futball or whatever) evangelists is great fun and far more entertaining than the actual sport. Sadly we will have four years where ESPN and other outlets are forced to cover sports that people actually care about and soccer fans will have to be satisfied with MLS games until 2018.

Until then if you have a hankering for...

- People running around aimlessly

- People throwing themselves down on the ground, rolling around and having a fit

- People biting one another out of anger can visit your nearest day care center to watch the toddlers at play. As for the rest of us, we will content ourselves with the dog days of summer watching baseball and looking for the changing of the seasons that brings real football.

1 comment:

Joel Zehring said...

I actually really like soccer. I played all through high school and a little in college. I wish I was a more avid fan of the professional leagues, both here and abroad. It's actually an awesome time to be a soccer fan because there are so many ways to watch games: cable TV, increased network TV coverage, streaming video, etc.

That said, I don't mind that it's not a runaway success, or that soccer is painful for some to watch.

If you step back and look at American football, there are some similarities: extended periods without meaningful action or scoring. Excessive shoving and falling over (players on the offensive line aren't even allowed to touch the ball!).

TLDR: To each his own.