tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post9173376728420062177..comments2023-06-09T12:46:12.932-04:00Comments on The Voice Of One Crying Out In Suburbia: Why are there so few mature young men in the church?Arthur Sidohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03848508095612688493noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-55254698246641407342009-08-08T17:53:42.609-04:002009-08-08T17:53:42.609-04:00Steve, that makes sense. Reformed churches, i.e. r...Steve, that makes sense. Reformed churches, i.e. really reformed not reformed in name only, would tend to attract more men than the normal evangelical church. Together for the Gospel is full of younger guys, the proportion of young men to older men is striking.Arthur Sidohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03848508095612688493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-6415611135540747632009-08-08T16:46:04.191-04:002009-08-08T16:46:04.191-04:00Arthur,
The churches I've attended and circl...Arthur, <br /><br />The churches I've attended and circles I've hanged in (verb?) have been <i>heavily</i> Reformed doctrine oriented. The guys I've known that have done in-house missionary dating said the churches they fished in were more female populated.Steve Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10297044571819912511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-43456910279263272982009-08-08T08:40:56.421-04:002009-08-08T08:40:56.421-04:00We live in a culture where childhood is extended. ...We live in a culture where childhood is extended. There are more and more young men who do not leave home until their mid to late twenties. <br />Children are protected and cossetted at every turn, you are a "bad" parent if you are not actively involved in every activity that your child participates. Parents "save" their children from bad consequences, robbing them of a valuable learning experiences. Encouraging your children to stand up on their own two feet, allowing them to make decisions and learn what was good/bad about their decision allows them to mature. Society peer pressure has made a lot of whimpy parents who prefer to keep up a facade of perfection rather than allow their children to fail once in a while.<br />Until society starts treating young men like MEN, we will continue to have a bunch of twenty somethings living in a perpetual teenage state.<br />On a side note, the twenty year old son of a friend, flunked out of his freshman year of college last year and is now back home. His parents spent most of the time editing his papers,and attempting to keep him on task during his year away at college, he still failed. They had the son take an online college course this summer, the Dad did the work, because the son didn't want to. The son had a messy bedroom, the parents cleaned it, the son yelled at them. The parents want the son back in college, the son is procrastinating, they are setting themselves up for another year of failure in my opinion. The parents pay for the car insurance and cell phone, although the son has a full time factory job at the moment. How can this son grow up and mature if the parents continually rescue him and do NOT allow him to grow up? Unfortunately the above story of my friends is repeated in home after home across America, and we wonder why we have immature young men!Beanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14484707482492844677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-49417592125402508432009-08-08T07:56:08.211-04:002009-08-08T07:56:08.211-04:00Steve
That is interesting. I have always attended...Steve<br /><br />That is interesting. I have always attended "church" in the midwest, so I admit to a regional bias in my observation. I assumed it was the same everywhere. I think nationally the ratio is probably still skewed toward women. Perhaps someone from the south or east could give their observation?Arthur Sidohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03848508095612688493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-89081023917611703092009-08-08T06:29:28.091-04:002009-08-08T06:29:28.091-04:00Arthur,
I'm not saying you're off about y...Arthur,<br /><br />I'm not saying you're off about your observations at all, and I've heard this numerous times, but my experience is almost the opposite of what you wrote. It has been the men who have had the difficulty in finding women, and the complaints from the softer gender has been that the men always look to other churches or to internet dating to find them.<br /><br />I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, and the cost of living is so high that a higher education and well established career are necessary for providing one's wife with a minimal of life's necessities, thus the marrying late. In church settings and religious groups I'm familiar with, the ratio has been anywhere from about 3:1 to over 10:1 men. It's been my experience that guys have a difficult time finding a woman who will even engage in a theological conversation. Church has an image of being a masculine thing. The preferred method of finding a wife among many of my friends was to go to a fluff lite church and find a girl who is cute, but with half a brain so she can be taught theology.<br /><br />I know so few families with boys in public schools, and by the time the parents are done homeschooling them through the high school age, they're off to college to get advanced degrees in higher professions.<br /><br />Yes, there have been immature men, and yes, a heavy theological education doesn't mean maturity. I can see how the thing you mention is "out there" in the general church culture, I'm just saying that it hasn't been my experience and have no reason as to why it might be so.Steve Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10297044571819912511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-81952637035347089732009-08-07T13:06:28.574-04:002009-08-07T13:06:28.574-04:00Alan,
Touche, but where I am going is that young ...Alan,<br /><br />Touche, but where I am going is that young men by and large in society and in the church seem less than interested in the maturing process and are not encourgaed in that maturiung process by their parents or the church. Your view may be a bit different because you are in contact with so many young men (and I bet a lot of them don't recognize the difference between "education" and "wisdom"!)Arthur Sidohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03848508095612688493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-75596905123917197242009-08-07T12:40:08.296-04:002009-08-07T12:40:08.296-04:00Aren't young men by definition less mature? Sh...Aren't young men by definition less mature? Should we be looking for mature young men, or maturing young men?<br /><br />If we're looking for maturing young men, then I know several.<br /><br />I also know many, many immature young men who think they are mature because of their formal education.<br /><br />-AlanAlan Knoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07452247058550736803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-53504119677504847942009-08-07T12:20:27.051-04:002009-08-07T12:20:27.051-04:00That is a valid point Steve. This problem goes bey...That is a valid point Steve. This problem goes beyond the church and into society in general, with a dramatically extended adolescence. The government gets its hooks into kids earlier and kids them in later, lessening the impact of parents. When we let our kids get too inculcated by the culture around them, they become reflective of those values and we end up with Christian young men who won’t get a job or leave home.Arthur Sidohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03848508095612688493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643715.post-55291595220759271112009-08-07T12:15:49.892-04:002009-08-07T12:15:49.892-04:00Good post.
I think that there is a lack of mature...Good post.<br /><br />I think that there is a lack of mature young men in the society in general.<br /><br />We have infantilized our society and young people don't mature as they used to...many of them never do.Steve Martinhttp://theoldadam.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.com